Intimacy is needed in any relationship, so if these concerns are present, talk to your partner about them. If you prefer, you may also talk to your doctor about your concerns. Your doctor will probably advise you to wait until you are sure that there isn’t any more pain in your nether region or you may request for an examination to be sure that any wounds are already completely healed. As far as the tightness of the vaginal wall is concerned, there may be decreased tightness but this is usually temporary.
With regards to libido, women may experience decreased libido within the first few months for a number of reasons: they may be too tired, they may be feeling bouts of insecurity, they may be suffering from post partum depression or they may simply be afraid of the thought of getting pregnant again. Whatever the reason, communication is essential in order for the partner not to feel shut out or abandoned. If your partner knows where you are coming from, then it would be easier for him to understand the situation.
Intimacy can be gradually built up and it doesn’t need to start out with sex. For starters, you can start by having light hearted conversation while jointly taking care of the baby. While the baby is asleep, you could spend time cuddling, kissing or having a soak in the tub. If you have the luxury of having a baby sitter of a relative taking care of the newborn for some hours, you can go on strolls hand in hand just like you used to do at the start of your relationship. Intimacy is about spending time with each other and reinforcing your love for each other through words and action. Build this up and the sex will inevitably follow.
There might be some problems with dryness with the woman the first time you have sex after childbirth. This is normal because of the hormonal changes in the body. If this happens, you can always have prolonged foreplay or use lubricants to ease any friction. You can also seek the help of your doctor on how to address this issue.